I had my last birthing class tonight and a discussion came up that made me go, "Wo, I am NOT in Eugene anymore." Little things have happened like this before, but to me this was more surprising- and disappointing. It doesn't really matter, it's just strange to me how DIFFERENT places can be. Just go 3 hours north and you'd get such a different response to the SAME QUESTION. A pediatrician came to our class to answer any questions we had. One woman had a question that should've been directed to a child psychologist- but whatever, she asked the pediatrician instead. This wasn't the main question, but it led to the question of whether or not to give a 6 year old boy a doll. I immediately thought the answer would be, "Sure, if you feel like it. Why not?" No, no, no. Everyone in the class, except Pat and I, thought it was a TERRIBLE idea. They all said, "No, I would NOT give him a doll." They were all afraid it would mess up his "manliness." What in the heck is THAT supposed to mean? Men can't like babies? Boys can only play with certain toys and aren't allowed to be anything else? How restrictive and controlling is that? It's a DOLL!!!! What's it gonna do? If the boy is 6 and hasn't YET desired a doll, he'd probably look at it and throw in on the ground anyway. No damage done. And let's say he's like, "Cool, a doll," and plays with it. Whoop dee doo! Let's say he turns out to be this prissy little man- who cares! You really think it has anything to do with whether or not he played with a doll when he was six? Probably not. He probably would've turned out the same, doll or no doll. Then the concept of, "Oh his friends will think it's weird he's playing with a doll. They'll make fun of him." So what, we're teaching our children to pretend to like things they don't, just so they won't be made fun of? What kind of moral courage does that teach anybody! That we just need to be like everyone else? I don't know, the whole conversation bothered me. I couldn't believe it was even happening. If I was in Eugene, everyone would have THRIVED on the doll idea to the point of overkill. Where I would've been rolling my eyes because people are SO ADAMANT about there being NO differences in the sexes. I definitely believe in differences, but I'm not going to force my kids into being a certain way. People and children can have varied tastes and I think that's healthy. Anyway. Enough about that.
We finally got our tour of the hospital. It was weird, looking at the birthing bed and envisioning myself half naked, legs spread and PUSHING!!!!! Oh, that's weird. It was weird to think, "I'm having a baby and I'm having it HERE." Crazy. Tomorrow makes 3 weeks. That is a little number.
I am SOOOOOO excited for Greg to be home. I just couldn't even describe how thrilled I am. Having him home will be like having Christmas everyday. Greg's already been gone for 3 MONTHS. It's really gone by fast. If someone said to me that their husband would be gone that long I would moan and say, "How are you going to survive?" But I can't believe how fast it's gone and how well we've handled it. Saying that, I can't WAIT for him to be home! I smile all the time just thinking about it.
7 comments:
hah- yeah that is really different than Eugene! I forget sometimes that all of Oregon isn't the same. I guess we just grew up in one of the most liberal places in Oregon, but it's not like that everywhere. That is so crazy you are going to be having a baby in 3 weeks! I'm so excited. I love you!
Brent had a My Buddy doll. Remember those? And he grew up completely normal and manly. He does understand girls better than most guys but I attribute that to all sisters not dolls. Brent loved that doll and his Ally Cat. Gunnar got a boy Cabbage Patch doll for his first Christmas. Nothing wrong with it. But if a girl were to play with a truck they would probably think it ok and normal.
That whole doll thing is crazy!!! I don't think it matters. I am so excited for you to have a baby, it will be so fun having her here instead of in your tummy. Love you so much
I'm in the same boat up here in WA... getting used to non-Eugene ways. A kid threw an entire empty chip bag in the lake and I about freaked. Then, he had no idea why it was such a big deal! Who teaches their kids that throwing trash in water is ok?! As far as the doll thing specifically - who cares? Get the kid a doll but maybe not let it be super frilly. Whatev. More likely then not the curiosity will fade and they'll be done with it.
That's so weird about the doll. The boys play with the dress-up stuff all the time at my work and it doesn't make them feminine at all -- it's called imaginary play!
I can't believe your already down to 3 weeks!
That's a hoot. It is amazing the differences in places. I will always miss and love Eugene. I loved kristi's comment. People and their fears...sad for them and their kids. Love you.
All of my 3 sons had their dolls. *baby* is what they called them. I gave Alex a doll when he was 1 1/2. He LOVES his baby. It's like his little friend. It rides bikes with him. It travels with him. Robyn got out her baby clothes and Alex dressed his baby 10x. He's very excited for his new brother. His doll has helped him be like mommy. Paul was worried about him having a doll because of the manly thing but it only makes a man more gentle and kind and loving. Of course they eventually shove the doll aside but it always has a special place in their hearts and they each have their dolls saved in the attic. Girls play equally well with trucks and boy toys. People are really weird huh?
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