I've been meaning to get a big tub of sand/beans/pasta/water for Scarlet to play in for the longest time but it never happened. Yesterday I felt desperate for her to be self entertained and I saw this big bag of beans I bought and thought, "I'm honestly probably never going to make those, that would be perfect." So I put them in a shoe box and it was magic. I'd never seen her have so much fun in the house. At least in a very long time. It did make quite the mess.
Scarlet loves the ABC song. We've worked on the ABCs on and off with this book that she has. And yesterday I was asking her what each letter was and she definitely knew more than half. I would say 3/4 of the letters she knew all by herself. I was amazed.
I didn't know if you could hear her voice on the last video so I asked her to sing it louder.
She's been the biggest sweetie lately. Always hugging us and kissing us. Like I'll be changing her diaper and she'll tug on my arm that's holding up her legs and kiss my arm. It's so dang sweet.
Her appetite has been SO MUCH BETTER lately! I'm afraid to jinx it by saying so. She has hardly complained about the changes in her new diet. Makes me glad. What a relief. I thought it would be a much greater challenge.
She can't stay out of her tent. It's all she wants to do (when she's not begging for Dora). I'm starting to adjust. It's kinda small for a big pregnant person to get on her knees and crawl on in. And she likes the door closed so it gets hot and I feel like I'm suffocating. But I've been trying to just suck it up and play in there, anyway.
She always has her doggie, baby and blankie in tow. She LOVES being wrapped in her blanket like a swaddled baby and then we rock her back and forth and sing. I confess, I really like it too. It IS sort of hard with my belly in the way, but I sometimes feel like she still is a baby when I do it. And I love it.
She's always asking for "baby dance" or "monkeys" on youtube. Particularly- the Evian roller babies and this brazilian toddler that sambas. She loves it.
Last night I sort of melted down about Scarlet and couldn't stop crying. I suppose I'll have my moments. I just started panicking that we wouldn't get rid of the lyme and it would get worse and worse until she's in pain all the time or a wheel chair or handicapped in some way. And I just thought- her life has just began. She'll never even know what it's like to be healthy. She'll only remember pain. Anyway, I was imagining the worst, but I should not think about things like that.
I guess I was feeling so positive because I figured her symptoms now are the worst they're gonna be and then she'll just get better soon. But then I realized, we still have a whole month before our first appointment, and I'm not even sure we'll be able to start a treatment plan then. It all depends. She'll need to be tested for co-infections that she could've gotten from the same tick- that all effects medications you take. So we might just have a good long talk, draw some blood and wait some more. We'll see. If it IS that way, then it's just that much longer for this thing to progress. And it seems a lot more obvious now how she's lacking in energy. I really think she is a tired little thing. Thinking back to our life in Oregon compared to here- it seems really obvious. Scarlet never wanted to just sit around. And she really does now. And Greg took her to the pool yesterday and he said she wasn't having a bad time, but she was just floating in her floaty just being there. Not having fun. And it made me think she was just tired and living. It made me sad. And then today I was doing the dishes and she ran up to me and said elbow and pointed. And I asked her what and if it hurt and she said yeah and ran off. It's easy to think it's nothing and random, but why would she run up to say the word elbow? She doesn't run up and tell me some other body part. So I'm starting to think her elbows hurt again, which really sucks. I was really hoping it was temporary and wouldn't come back. The one plus is it's clearly not as painful as last time. Last time she was unconsolable and it really sucked. Now it was like she was just telling me something wasn't right, but she was ok. I just really hope we can get her treated soon.
I have really been giving in on her pacifier. I just worry she doesn't feel good and it comforts her- so I give in. And I just can't deal with her crying at me. I'm such a wuss these days. With being pregnant and lyme stress and whatever else is going on the day of- I just don't want to deal with one more thing I don't have to. I'm trying to get her in the habit of taking it out when she wants to talk.
Uh, I'm so tired. Scarlet's been waking up an hour earlier the last 2 days. It's not SO bad, but I just really like when she sleeps in.
Last Sunday I thought I was in labor. I was having mild contractions ALL DAY LONG. I mean, like 12 hours, pretty consistently. That's how my last labor was, a good 10 hours of no big deal labor. But then it never progressed beyond that and eventually just stopped. At first I was all panicky like - HOW CAN WE HAVE A BABY RIGHT NOW!!!! He's not ready to come out! But then I looked it up and though it's not IDEAL, babies are usually around 5 pounds right now and usually are fine and at most need a week or two in the hospital. So after I read that, I calmed thinking, "Ok, he'll be fine." I figured, well if he's coming, he's coming- and then I got excited. But it was just a long dragged out day where I was trying to take it easy and kept waiting for REAL contractions to kick in and they just never did. I was so annoyed and emotionally exhausted by the end of the day. I'm pretty sure I'm having a Braxton Hicks right now. I never had them before. And I never had them before Sunday. They aren't really painful, you just feel it. So I'm pretty pumped, hoping my labor won't be as long. HOPEFULLY. So keep the contractions coming . . .
It's so freakin' hot outside I never even THINK about going outside. It's the worst. Just going to get the mail makes my brain stall. Scarlet never wants to go outside anymore anyway. Except to go to the hot tub. She LOVES the hot tub. When she first saw it she kept calling it a bubble bath. So cute.
I want some chocolate SO BAD right now. Or yummy bread or SOMETHING. We are out. But I can't really sneak that stuff when Scarlet's awake anyway. But I WANT SOME!!!
6 comments:
Cute videos and stories.
You HAVE to remember that its so true, this is the WORST its going to get. She will get better! And she definitely WONT be crippled or in a wheel chair. BECAUSE your taking care of this right now, she will be great! Just the fact that you have this knowledge and right diagnosis, means she wont have a horrible life. It's huge. So many people have your same situation where they dont know about Lyme for 5-10 years. And the wonderful thing is, people still get better after that. So just try to remember that! I know it's hard. I STILL have break downs every once in a while. But it gets less and less. I think your doing amazing considering. I'm so glad she's doing good with the food changes. I was thinking how wonderful it is that you and Greg don't have Lyme. Like, it's so NICe cause you guys can take care of her and prep her meals and its not quite as hard since you don't actually have the disease. You know? It's just that much more you have on your side. Anyway- I love you sooo much. Scarlet is the sweetest thing. I'm so glad I got to know her more when I was there.
oh my gosh those videos were SO CUTE! I watched them with Maddie and she just got SO HAPPY and giggly, and started wiggling in excitment, I coudn't help but wonder if she remembered her from the pre-existance because it was like she new her and was so excited. Scarlet has the sweetest cutest voice I just love it. I love hte "l-m-n-o-p" part, where she just kind of subsitutes it with "mmnmnmn" and then continues- haha i love it. Amy Heidimen always did the beans with Ahna and she loved it. Scarlet seems like she's at such a fun age, like you can do alot with her. You should take a pic of her tent, I don't know what you're talking about. It's ok to have breakdowns, I think it's healthy for the coping process. It's good to be positive and to break down and be sad. But what danielle said is right, it will all be ok because you are catching it and taking care of it NOW! and not 10 years later. I love you!!!!!
You have good sisters! I loved Scarlet singing! Like Amy said the lmnop part is so cute. And like Danielle said, you are doing great! It is such a blessing you are catching it now. I am so grateful you aren't in labor and have this chance to work into the Lyme routine before your sweet little boy comes. I'm also grateful you are having braxton Hixes. or however you spell it. I am hoping also that will shorten the labor. I'm glad you are blogging your feelings. I love you!!
I can't believe your little Scarlet has Lyme Disease . I'm so sad for her and for you and Greg. I'm sure it won't be fun fighting this battle. What a HUGE blessing though that you caught it so early and that you have so much knowledge about the disease from Danielle and Clayton. I'm so glad that you kept pushing to find answers . Way to be a super mom :) I know SO many people who just blindly follow what any doctor says. Which is just crazy.
My family and I will be praying for you, Greg and little Scarlet, Who by the way is still SO stinking cute it is beyond ridiculous! I loved the singing videos! SO SWEET :)
oKAY I've seriously watched these videos so much. She is so cute. I can't get enough.
I have never thought to put down a sheet for under the sensory bucket, I'm definitely going to do that from now on! That stinks that you were having contractions, you must be so ready to have your little boy.
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