Going in to clean up the mouse cupboard.

Brighton LOVES to stand.

He also love to eat his toes. Brighton was teething pretty bad last week and it STUNK. Scarlet never gave us much grief for her teeth. I think it's gonna be harder with this one . . .

For a week Scarlet was waking up with the funkiest hairdo's.

I saw this on our carpet one night and thought it was the mouse all squished. I left it there for awhile as I had things to do and it was creeping me out and when I finally got close to it . . .

it was just a madded up dried chunk of dirt. It was the worst, as I said, I came home, had to put the groceries away, had to nurse and put Brighton to bed. So the whole time my mind is racing- how on EARTH did this thing get smashed? When did it happen? How long has it been there? YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!!!! I felt sort of like an idiot when I realized it was just a chunk of dirt. What a waste of panic and nasty feeling.

It's been snowing off and on. I feel bad, every time it REALLY snows, I just can't bring myself to get the kids all bundled up to play. And once Greg has the time, it's all melted. 

Brighton's been walking around the house like this like crazy. I think it's pretty nuts! I think he's gonna be an early walker. For awhile I was sure he'd be one of these kids I hear about that never crawl and just walk. But he's just started being a lot better about being on his tummy and he's finally starting to go for things out of his reach.

I need to get more food into this boy! He's still eating twice a night!!! Sometimes more!!!

I bought some poi with christmas or birthday money. I don't remember. It's definitely an upgrade from tennis balls on shoe laces. I LOVE THEM. They are so much nicer. I've hardly spun poi since I was pregnant with Scarlet and I decided (with much encouragement from Greg) to start spinning again. I couldn't believe how out of touch I'd gotten with them. But it's coming back and I'm determined to get better. I really love to do it. For many reasons. It's a way to dance, I can do it by myself, I can do it anywhere there is space and it's sort of meditative once I know what I'm doing. And what is cooler than spinning fire all around your body at night. Not much. But I won't do that for awhile. I wanna get really good again before I do that and I left my fire poi in Central Point! I think I left them hanging in the garage.

It's pretty much my fantasy to be like this guy. But this guy is AMAZING. I'm on his website a bunch and bought 2 of his dvds. It's also one of my fantasies to take one of his workshops. But they're always in Costa Rica and a week long, so that's not happening anytime soon.


Here is Scarlet playing with my practice poi.

I started waking up at 6 am and guess what- it did solve everything. Seriously. It fixed all my troubles. Not to say my life is trouble free at all- but the stuff that was making me feel like a lunatic- it wiped all that away. So my life is much better now. And I'm so glad. It was seriously an answer to a desperate prayer. It didn't happen over night, but by day 3 things had fallen into sinc and have stayed that way since. I am soooo happy about it. The kiddos sleep together at noon and are both in bed at 8pm. Ah, the  writing that down makes me feel relaxed. With this new schedule I've honestly found myself bored on a daily basis. I haven't been bored since Scarlet got sick. Just short of a year. That is too looooong to not relax or have SOME time to twiddle your fingers. I don't like being bored, it makes me feel strange. But I like suddenly having time to have some "me time" without ignoring the kids.  It IS weird, though. I sort of DO feel bad, but I know I shouldn't. It's nice though. I feel like I can start being useful again. Like if the Relief Society needs volunteers for something, I just think to myself, "When on earth am I going to do that?" If this keeps up I'll have somewhat regular hours of time to do the extra things. ANYWAY . . . it's simply wonderful and there is so much more PEACE and SANITY in my life now.

Scarlet started her new (and I think last) antibiotic last week. So far it's been going incredibly well. It's supposed to be horribly nasty and can bring out horrible symptoms, ones she's never even shown before. But, until today, it's been INCREDIBLE. No symptoms. Our bright shining Scarlet was back, for 3 glorious days. I was literally crying on and off because I was so overwhelmed with what I was seeing in her. I cannot even tell you. Yesterday, however, she seemed not as bright and shiny and then today her knees hurt and she had a meltdown and wouldn't go to nursery so a herx may be happening. Even so, she's still doing pretty well and it's always been up and down. I was just hoping it would all be up. I always do, and I'm always wrong. But all the ups and downs have consistently been upward moving. I don't know if that makes sense. Meaning, her ups keep getting better and better and her downs, less and less a big deal.

With this new antibiotic, I realized I need to cut out her tv time. I've become way too laxed about it the last few months, where I barely fight it anymore. But if I never challenge her to play then how will I ever know she's getting better if she's sitting in front of the tv all day? So the same day I woke up at 6am  I spontaneously decided to cut out 90% of her tv watching. It was a pretty rough day. The second day, was only rough the first half and then by day 3 she barely asked at all and only watch 1 1/2 hours of tv!  When she first started her treatment for lyme she was watching 7+ hours of tv a day. Sometimes straight, with no breaks. She simply didn't have the energy for anything else. It was the worst. And seeing her play ALL DAY LONG was amazing. At the same time this LIGHT was just shining through her eyes. She was different, it was obvious and I remembered the little girl she used to be. She used to be JUST LIKE THIS 100% of the time. Scarlet used to be "perfect". People would say it all the time. She really was. And she was the happiest smiliest little girl. And suddenly she was like this again for 3 days. It was incredible.

With her feeling so good, the new schedule and not having the tv on nonstop, oh man life was good. There was so much time to play and interact and just HANG OUT. It was just peaceful too. And I remembered how things USED to be this way. In 30 days it will be a year that she's had this sickness. A YEAR. That's a long time. No wonder I forgot what life used to be like. No wonder I've felt strained. Even though it was only 3 days that were what I would call "perfect" it gave me a glimpse of the past and the future and I'm really hopeful about it all.

Oh yeah. So Greg was basically out of town, or here but busy, or sick and useless, for like a month. It was really wearing. So he finally got back in town, after being gone a week, and Brighton was consistently taking a 4 hour stretch between 10 and 2, so on Saturday I fed him at 10 at took off for 3 1/2 hours!!! WOOHOO!!! I went to the mall and got my hair cut, my brows waxed and a pedicure. It was awesome. It was awesome just having a good time talking to my hairstylist. And it was awesome just sitting in a chair, in silence, getting my feet rubbed. It was awesome. And I was walking through the mall with a big fat smile on my face 'cause I was so happy. I really needed to get away and I felt like I was at a party, even though it was just me and all I was doing was walking by myself in the mall. I said it before and I'll say it again. It was awesome.

After I came home we all went swimming. Scarlet was begging for it. She had a blast and Brighton was just calm for the whole thing. I thought he'd be super excited or hate it, but he was just there, takin' it all in and eating his toes. Greg and I were tired, but we're glad the kids got to do something fun.