10 Days

Uhhhhh, it's just one of those days. Today I had 2 colors scheduled. I was so pumped. Usually it's awesome if I have 2 appointments a week, but 2 in a day? I was elated and feeling really positive about my work. And then early this morning they both call to cancel/reschedule! So now I don't have anything 'till SATURDAY. Even though it really WASN'T a busy week, for me- it was gonna be the busiest yet and now it's just another blah week. Plus I woke up after a terrible nightmare this morning. Am I the only adult who still has nightmares? I suppose they are fading. I used to get them all the time until maybe the last year, now. I mean like everyday. But atleast my nightmares lately aren't about someone trying to kill me. This time it was just stressful and everything kept going wrong and then I ended up yelling at my sister Rebecca, of all people, with such intense rage. I woke up feeling awful. My dreams really hang on to me thru out the day. So I go downstairs to eat breakfast feeling like I've offended my whole family- even though I didn't. I don't know. So I finally got down to cleaning our disaster of a room upstairs and yet- every corner still resembles something like this-

It's just not working out anymore. We have really outgrown this room over the last 9 months. Yeah, it's been 9 months now. Is it weird to feel like I've accomplished something really great to be able to say, "I survived living with relatives for 9 months!" Years ago I used to always want to tell people I skydived because I thought it made me sound tough. That's how I feel about this. I look around this room and think, "How are we going to move into the house? It's going to be a disaster! We have too much stuff." And then I remember, we'll be in a HOUSE with MULTIPLE ROOMS vs the one little room we're inhabiting. And I envision all the closets my things will go into. We won't be able to fill it all up. But I am definitely ok with that. When I see spaces like above my mind goes a little crazy. I like order.

We close in 10 days. I'm kind of refusing to acknowledge it or get excited, because I don't want to think it's going to happen and then it falls through. That would be a MAJOR blow. I simply love this house. It is like a dream and I absolutely cannot believe we might own it in 10 days. It does not seem real. It would be exciting if it were any house, but this house is just more than I ever imagined and as cheesy as it sounds, it makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world. I was thinking, it's a pretty big thing to own, physically. I mean it's a HOUSE! I think of big things I've owned in the past, a nice bed, a piano, a car- but this is physically a ginormous thing to own. But I suppose most people own a house eventually in their life. It's not that strange of a concept. So if all works out, we'll sign on a Thursday, and then Friday we go to Portland for Laurel's endowment and then stay the night for the sealing the next day. And then it's Sunday. So we only have one day to move. I mean, we obviously have the rest of our lives to move, but I just wanna get on it! I don't want to wait. So Thursday hopefully will be a crazy day of shopping and moving. Thankfully, everything is already in boxes and there's not that many. We got rid of everything before we moved to Europe. But we're starting from scratch again. Spices, pasta, produce, laundry detergent! I'm imagining loading up the clothes washer and realizing I never bought detergent to wash anything with or getting in the shower to discover I never bought soap or shampoo. I keep telling myself I need to make a giant list, but I don't want to.