Bachelorette Review

First of all, Emily has been a way good bachelorette. I was SOOOO disappointed for it to be her, but she's turning out to be great. Possibly/probably my favorite. I like how she grills the guys and doesn't let them say stupid "perfect" answers. That's pretty cool. We're actually hearing meaningful conversations instead of, "I feel so close to you. I would do anything for love. I'm here for the right reasons." And they smile and kiss and the whole thing is so stupid.

Ok. Get ready for some SERIOUS judgement. Please don't judge me.

I'm sorry, but I'm so glad you're gone. Something about your face expression, I just can't stand it anytime you're on the screen. I'm so sick of your dancing, and really- I love to dance. But I don't love it when you do.

 Oh, I can't STAND you. And it's all coming out next episode, it seems. You just think you're so cool. You just give these "smooth" answers and are the least original person in the world. And I'm sorry, but I could never take someone seriously if they had biceps as big as yours. That is WAY too much concentration on your appearance, and I hate your hair, which you CLEARLY style that way on purpose. And it's not good, in my opinion.

Sorry, dude- but I'm glad you're gone too. Just TOO much emotion for my taste. Too many tears. I understand, I would be crying to if I abandoned my sweet Scarlet for the dumbest most selfish reason ever- but seriously- can't take your crying anymore.

Wow, you added some serious entertainment tonight. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb.

Pretty sure you became everyone's favorite tonight. As dumb as I think everyone is on this show- you actually reminded me of my sweet Greg and that's why I like you so much.

Oh, what is up with these long haired ones? CUT YOUR HAIR! It does NOTHING for you! You look SO much better with it in a pony tail. When it's down it's like- all I see is your hair. You're just your HAIR and nothing else. I can't bear it.

Oh you bug me too. You think you're so perfect because you're a Dad. That's great. Just cause your sperm made a human, doesn't mean your an awesome Dad, and even if you are a great Dad- it doesn't mean you're so much better than everyone else. I wish you would just get over yourself and move on.

You're kinda fun entertainment. You'll probably go home next week. You need to learn a few things about sweeping a girl off her feet.

Gotta say, everytime you're on the screen I just think, "I love your hair." I'm so swayed by people's style. Ali's season, I loved Frank's glasses and his outfits because he was so stylish- and he turned out to be the biggest loser of all. But you have your water company, sounds like you have passion and yet we haven't seen too much of you 'cause you're shy. I'm curious to see where you'll go. But as much as I like the hair and the spunky clothes, it makes you seem young. Like you are not ready to get married and have a kid. But that's just judgmental of me.

You seem nice. You're not ugly- but man she goes ON AND ON about how good looking you are and I just don't see it. You do seem great- but a little head in the clouds. If a guy told me he "felt like the luckiest guy on earth" or whatever came out of his mouth- ON THE FIRST DATE, I don't know. That's a little cheesy. It's like when one of my first dates brought me a huge bouquet of red roses. I love roses but I was like, "Wo, man. It's the first date. Do this for our first anniversary!" ANd then he was like, "This is the best day of my life. Kissing Emily is the best experience I've ever had." Really man. REALLY? That's the best moment of your life? It just made you seem really young and immature to me.  

You seem nice. You wouldn't be for me. She seems to like you. You DO have some cuteness to you, but you just look a little  . . . FEMININE to me. I just like my men to be MANLY. But that's just me.

Glad the egg is gone. That was so . . . I don't know. Weren't we all feeling it? That would've made me get rid of him, but there must be more to him than his egg.

What was up with climbing a building and eating on a skyscraper while there was lightening. Isn't that  . . . um . . . asking to get struck by lightening? Am I wrong in this?

I always thought it was a little dumb to go on this show if you have kids- but now that I HAVE one, I have absolutely NO RESPECT for anyone that has kids on this show. To me, that is putting your kid last and that would make you last on MY list.

Don't all these guys LOOK so much older than they ARE? I figured it out. They're all TALL, and BROAD and MUSCLY. Most men are NOT this way. So it makes them look older. I'm OLDER than almost all these guys! It's weird. It makes me feel old. I cannot STAND how many muscles are on this show. I just can't take them seriously. You have to spend HOURS in the gym everyday and eat very specific things and I just think that is so vain. I want a guy to look nice, but I don't want his muscles to be his top priority. I mean they're EXPLODING from their shirts! It's just too much for me.

The only thing that bugs me about Emily is we don't really know what went wrong with Brad. She'll say, "Well, Brad was like that and we all know how that turned out." And I just want to say, "No, we DON'T know how that turned out." Why did you break up? Because he had a temper? We'll never know.

Dancing on these shows. I'm sorry, I love to dance more than most people on the planet- but even at my wedding, when Greg and I had our first dance and it was just US DANCING for people, I felt really funny. I would feel even MORE FUNNY dancing in front of a crowd of people I don't know, dancing with someone I've known for a day and dancing on national television! I just don't know why they do it! It bugs me every time! They're always smiling, but are they really smiling on the inside? Is it just me?

Oh yeah, same with the kissing. First kiss, while EVERYONE IS WATCHING? That just COULD NOT have been natural. My mind would not be, "Oh we're going to kiss! I'm so excited!" It would be, "Everyone's watching me! What do I look like?!" Not very intimate OR romantic. Even though they say it is, I think they're full of balogne.

I couldn't believe how much I loved Dolly Pardon's songs. I want to check her out on Itunes!

I miss Greg when I watch these shows. I'm constantly comparing them to Greg and thinking they're all so dumb. He's been out of town a week now, and he's not coming home anytime soon. Bummer. It hasn't been too bad though. My whole ward has been so great and having me and Scarlet over for dinner or play dates and I've hardly had to cook- which has been GREAT! Makes life easier. I can't tell you hot HOT and SWEATY it's been. Oh man. Really, hot sweaty air.

My little sis' is coming to visit in 2 days!!! I'm so excited! It seemed so far away and now it's here! I'm psyched!