Sigh of Relief

Scarlet's appointment went very well. I liked our doctor the moment she introduced herself to us in the waiting room. She glowed. She is a happy person. I like happy people. It's always nice when you can connect with your doctor. And she was great with Scarlet. It was perfect, she had a chest of toys that kept Scarlet busy for almost the whole appointment (1 1/2 hours- that's a long time for a one year old). The appointment was very relaxed and we just talked through it all. It went very differently than I expected, but in a good way.

We were thrilled to find out we can start treating her immediately for lyme. Everything we talked about is very handle-able. After looking at her website I was worried it was going to be an overwhelming amount of information and diet changes. But it wasn't like that at all. She has a very practical approach and emphasized that one of the most important things is eliminating stress and if I'm too worried about all these insane details and go crazy, it will make things worse. So we're just gonna stick with what we've been doing- diet wise, which makes me very happy. I already feel really on top of that. I was really worried because we were looking over her website and nutrition seemed SO MUCH APART of her treatment and I was really worried about it being extreme and she didn't seem to care much about it at all. I DO wonder, if it's because Scarlet is only 22 months and gets that we can only force so much on her. She kept mentioning reading and such she gives to her patients about treatment/diet and then would often say, "But that doesn't really apply to Scarlet." 

It was nice too because we already are really familiar about lyme. There wasn't much we didn't already know. The only thing that was "new" information- was that she emphasized in children it's mostly about behavior. Those are the signs/symptoms and that it's really up to me to notice her changes. It's nice to hear a doctor say they trust in what I'm saying as a parent and not be blown off without a ridiculous amount of evidence.

Her treatment so far is pretty simple- thank goodness. 2 oral prescriptions and probiotics, all once a day. I can handle that. She may have issues with diarrhea and yeast infections and we'll just have to monitor that as we go along.  The BIGGEST question is her herxheimer reaction. Basically, while she starts these antibiotics she will likely feel like total crap, to put it mildly. Danielle blogged about it and it really sounded horrifying. However, our doc said it can really vary patient to patient. That some don't react at all, sometimes it's 2 days, sometimes 2 MONTHS. It can also come in cycles and it happens again if we change her antibiotics along the way. She made it sound like in kids it just makes them psycho. Not LITERALLY psychotic, but like their behavior is CRAZY and out of control. Like they're a totally different tyrant of a child. Super fun, huh? Or she could just become SEVERELY lethargic or incredibly hyperactive. It usually starts 4-5 days into treatment, so we just get to wait and see how her body reacts. I just really hope it's not too intense because we're gonna have a baby all at the same time. That is A LOT OF EMOTIONS running through the air. And that's when people are gonna be watching her, if I'm in the hospital. More bad timing. But we wanna get started. We want to get her body fighting back. If it's intense and 2 months, WOW- it's gonna be quite an experience all around. But I'm really hoping she'll just be tired and the two of us can watch tv all day while I nurse and slowly get back to life again. Or better yet- she's one of the few who don't react at all. 

I'm just so glad she's going to get better. One thing that SUCKED, but I sort of already knew it was that she said it's something that will always be in the back of our head. That you can treat someone and the disease can lay dormant for DECADES. So she should take antibiotics when she gets pregnant, etc. things like that. Can you believe that concern has already been brought to her life and she's only 1? I was hoping if a decade goes by and she's well, then that's that. It's gone. But she said it definitely isn't that way, not that it means it WILL be there. It's just something we'll always need to watch and be aware about. But something she ALSO said is that's 20 years down the road and hopefully major advances with this disease will have been made. Maybe it won't be an issue by then. That would be great. I just feel so bad this is something she MAY have to deal with her whole life. I guess we'll just go with it. 

One great thing is she said to definitely treat her pain with IBprofen and not worry about it and just let her rest as much as she wants. To just go with her. I've been doing this and feeling this way more and more, but still internally fight it a bit. What mother feels good about letting her kid watch tv constantly and not play at all? But I keep praying to be in tune and know what she needs and that's what I keep feeling over and over. To let her do this. It's just weird. But her tv watching has been getting less the last week and hopefully it will all just continue to get better here on out!!! We'll see how it goes.

Greg and I both feel really good about it all. She got bit over 4 1/2 months ago now. So this day has been a long time coming. It's been on my mind EVERYDAY for that long and I haven't been able to have answers or relax about it and suddenly- I feel lighter. I know that she may not respond to treatment as we hope, I know things don't always come out as planned, but it's great to have a plan. It's great that we're no longer just letting this disease fester and grow stronger in her body everyday. Now her body will be fighting back. That makes me happy. 

Oh yeah. She didn't put a time table on it, but we asked if it would all be taken care of within a year and she immediately said, "Oh yeah! I would think we've got this thing all wrapped up by then!" Or something like that. It was like, no question- it will all be done by then. So that's great. She said we'll have a better idea of what to expect after she's been treated for a few months and see how her body's reacting.

Last night Scarlet woke up and was having the most miserable time. She hardly slept at all, so none of us did. And then I started having some painful contractions and I thought, "Are you kidding me? Is this really how it's gonna go down?" I laid in bed for at least an hour having these contractions wondering if Greg and Scarlet would head to DC and I get a ride to the hospital from a friend. Thank goodness, I eventually fell asleep and didn't have anymore until we arrived in town, after the appointment. Phew. So now we're in the clear. Greg started getting so excited for the baby to come in the car. It's like suddenly there's room in our minds/emotions to be excited. Does that make sense? We've just been so preoccupied with Scarlet, now our minds can think about other things in our life. Anyway, I've gone on enough. Things are looking up. We'll see what the next couple months bring!!! I figure if the next two months are beyond anything I've ever known- it won't be forever. I CAN HANDLE THIS. It will be ok and we'll make it through. And soon she'll be well. Soon I won't have a baby nursing every 2 hours. Sooner or later life will mellow out. SOON may not be too accurate of a word, but in the long scheme of things, a year or less is soon enough for me and I'm takin' it.