Blah! I am so ready to go home to the states. It's like I'm not even fearing the flight anymore because I just want to go HOME. It's new to say HOME, because I'm not even going to MY HOME. I don't have a home anymore! But the states are my home, that is the truth.

I'm excited to go to my parents and pretty much sit on my butt for a month. If I want to get up and move, I will. But I won't be walking to the market anymore or strenuous things like that. Things are just getting hard to do. Simple things like rolling over. Oh man. I wish I could cut that out of my day. But I've gotten to the point that I will be EXHAUSTED, but I will resist sitting down, because I know I'll have to get back up within 5 minutes and it is SO NOT WORTH IT to put my body through that.

I won't have to deal with needing help. By this I mean, a driver and cleaner. I never like whining about these things, because what kind of person whines that someone cleans their house! But I am so excited to just have people out of my hair. I'm glad if I want to go somewhere, we can hop in the car as soon as our shoes are on, instead of waiting to see if the driver is early, late or on time and then re-installing the carseats for the millionth time, and needing to make an appointment to begin with. I am so much more capable in the states. I'm not HELPLESS here, but for somethings I definitely am. So as much of a true blessing they are, I'm so glad to have a 3 month break from it.

I'm excited to not have to wash my food! Heck yeah! Oh man. This is a biggie.

English.

I need to get my license renewed when I get there! It expired!

I'm quite certain the reality of being without Greg for a complete month has not even crossed my radar. I hope the kids handle it ok. It will definitely be a first for Brighton. Scarlet has done this before.

I am so excited to push this baby out. Oh man. This stomach thing, it's just a big fat pain.

I'm excited to walk like a normal person again.

I'm excited to be able to really hug Greg. I miss cuddling him. It is just so uncomfortable right now.

I know once the baby comes out I'll have a nice squishy belly, but I am so ready to trade in for that. I think about it all the time.

As I was walking home from the market, today, and whining about certain things in my life (in my head), I realized everything that I whine about is attached to a blessing. I hate having a driver- but the fact is I absolutely have to have one. And mine is nice and speaks english, which is impossible to find, so I should be really grateful. I hate having someone clean my house, I would much rather do it myself, but that would literally take me 8+ hours a week. She works crazy hard and crazy fast for 7 hours straight and doesn't even get everything done. This might sound crazy, but you have to dust and mop every week. Too much dirt comes in the house because it's so dirty here. It's unavoidable. And our house is so massive, it literally takes 4 hours just to dust and clean the floors. Our kids have been waking up at 6 everyday- it's been the worst. B has been EXCEPTIONALLY grumpy for like a week now. We don't know what is going on with him. But seriously- would I trade in my kids? No. I hate having my stomach in the way of everything. I hate how tired and handicapped I feel. Would I rather NOT be pregnant and get a baby out of this? Of course not. All my complaints are actually all really my biggest blessings in life! I keep telling myself I need to get over it. But certain things are gonna be hard sometimes, no matter how great other things may be.

Alright, time to wash my food for the week! Bye!