Writing again. I think it's obvious I'm not moving my body much these days, and after so much tv or reading, I return again to the computer.

Today is one of those tired days. I just don't think I'm going to move very much today. LITERALLY. And the kids will probably watch a lot of tv.

I will probably slowly get the dishes done through out the day, simply because it's been 3 days and we're out of big spoons and there's quite the pile up. So I'll do it little by little.

Dinner is soooo not happening today. I knew it before 10am. It will be left overs for Greg and I and mac and cheese for the kids. I just don't think I can ask more of myself today. I wouldn't even do those 2 things, if I could avoid it.

I was gonna do school with Scarlet today- we were gonna plant a seed outside and do a pretty cool craft- but now I'm so tired! We'll see what happens.

I really do need to shower today. I feel gross. But all of this takes energy. I even had the best lunch! Where is my energy?!!!!

Oh yes. It's building a baby inside of my stomach.

I just can't believe it's not even noon and my body is craving a nap so deeply. I feel like closing my eyes right now! This happens when I'm too lazy to eat something hearty- but I had a ton of oatmeal with bananna and nuts! And I had a HUGE bowl of TURKEY soup! It had MEAT in it! And a ton of bread! What the heck! That usually perks me up- a good meal.

Not today.

BTW- I'm so not a vegetarian anymore. I will eat meat now. I rarely crave it and still try to avoid it. But I eat it now, occasionally. We regularly cook up bacon on the weekends and when we go out, if meat is the only option- then I eat it. But I had BBQ steak and salmon on easter at a friends house and nearly died! It was so stinkin' good! Seriously!!!! It was amazing! I've been craving a good BBQ ever since. Oh man. It was good. I wish I could do it all again.

I'm so tired I can hardly think straight. There was one more thing I was going to say. I just want to go to bed but I feel like I should hang with my kids. Oh man, this is ridiculous. I'm going to sleep.

Oh yeah, I remembered. I'm not afraid of plastic anymore. I've slowly been working it back into our lives. I still think it causes cancer and should be avoided, but sometimes it is simpler to put food in a ziplock than a heavy dish that needs to be washed later. I know it's still bad for food and bad for our bodies, but what can I say- I'm just not worried about it anymore. I think what we're EATING will make up the difference. Or at least I'm counting on it.

I am also WAYYYYYYY less afraid of TICKS!!! I can hardly believe it. I let my kids run around the yard and I don't even think about it. I used to not be able to let my kids touch a single leaf without stripping them down and scouring their bodies for ticks. Really. Being outside with children gave me SUCH anxiety. It's been a year that Scarlet has been in remission. This week, a year ago she took her last dose of antibiotics and she's been free and clear ever since. She's clearly perfectly healthy now, with occasional stomach issues (probably from all those antibiotics). It took me WAYYYYYY longer to recover emotionally and mentally- but I suddenly am there! It's not that it never crosses my mind, I'm just way less afraid of it. I'm glad. It makes for a more fulfilling and enjoyable life. I hope it continues and we can live the rest of our lives this way. Personally- I'm tired of being stressed out! For now, I'm just done! I'm done feeling guilty about things too. If I wanna do something, or not do something, that's just what's gonna happen and I'm completely ok with it. I think it all has something to do with being exhausted and pregnant and I'm just giving myself a freebee card the rest of my pregnancy.