Thanks to everyone for the comments. They really did help me. Today was the first good day in a month. Sigh. I needed this. It gives me hope that we'll be back to good days almost everyday (it was like that for awhile). But enough of that, I'm sick of talking about work.
There's really not anything to say. Went for a run and really just had a great day! It's amazing how good moments (or days) can just wipe out the bad ones and you feel as if they never happened. They feel like a distant memory- even though it was actually yesterday or earlier in the afternoon. I was just sick of seeing such a negative post at the top of our blog. Things are lookin' up- at least today they are :)
Oh, I DO have a question though. Babies putting themselves to sleep. I need details to make sure I understand this. Are we talking, setting a baby in the crib-AWAKE- and then after you leave they fall asleep? Is this what people mean? Because I have never done this. The closest I've gotten is him falling asleep in the crib while I'm rubbing his back, or him being so wiped out he falls asleep when he hits the matress- but that rarely happens. Man, him actually falling asleep without me there would be heaven, but I wasn't sure if this is what people mean. Let me know . . .
12 comments:
I think that it means to put him in the crib and leave him there until he falls asleep. I remember Melissa doing this when Ethan was a baby.
We started putting Makyra to bed by herself at about 5 months. When we did it we would wait until she was almost asleep and then put her into bed. She was still awake but REALLY sleepy. She would cry and then we would go back in there after a few minutes and rub her back or something until she stopped. It probably took us 3 days to have her going to bed by herself.
Some kids just don't want to, I think if she would've cried for longer, or took longer to get used to it then we probably wouldn't have pushed her.
Now that she's older she goes to bed awake. She's a night owl and probably spends from about 9:30 when we put her down, until about 12 reading in her bed. We aren't sure how to stop this, but at least she's quiet. (She really only sleeps for about 8-9 hours at night and about and hour nap during the day.)
With Gunnar I was pretty serious about not having a baby/toddler control bedtime so from the start I worked on getting him to sleep himself. When I had to get up during the night, I would feed him and put him right back in his crib. I would not talk/sing to him or even really make eye contact. He needed to know that it was bed time. Sometimes when you sing to them, they take that more as stimulation and may stay awake longer because of it. Now Gunnar will go to bed himself super easy. I tell him to look at the clock (even though he can't read it) and tell him that it says that it is bed time. Now all that I have to say is what time is it and he says bedtime. He knows what to do. Also no baby has ever died from crying too long. It will take a few days to adjust to your new plan but it is so beneficial to all for him to be able to get himself to sleep. It is a good skill to have. Stick to it and be patient.
I would say if the Mom is ok with it to let him cry it out a little at nap time. As long as you know he is fed, dry, and tired he should fall asleep. I had to this with my son and it was hard but it only took a few days until he got it. Usually if they cry longer than 20 mins you should go check and soothe but then walk out again and let him back to it. It is hard at first but it will work and will be heaven afterword!
That's what I meant in my post when I said when you are mom YOu call the shots. I was thinking this kid's mom must not like you to do that or something.
Good luck!
I'm glad things are better. I love you!
Yes, that's what it means! It's good for both baby and mom/caregiver to be able to put the baby down awake and let him fall asleep on his own. It might be hard the first few times since he's used to being held while going to sleep, but it's so worth a little bit of crying to get past that milestone. Every baby's different, though, and might be ready at diff. times for that. If mom's okay with it, I say start trying to get him to do it! good luck, I'm so glad things are looking up :)
Exactly, when he starts acting tired, go lay him down, leave the room and close the door if that is what you do and then give him time to go to sleep if he starts crying. He might just go right to sleep. go back in after 10 -20 min if he is still crying to reassure him that you are still there. But don't get him up, just kiss him and lay him back down if he is standing and if he stands back up just leave the room. If he doesn't go right to sleep, it might take several times and quite a bit of crying for him to get the idea. I'm glad things are better! Love you!!!
you should put him to bed to fall asleep the sooner they get the hang of it the better... :) dont worry most learn quickly:)
I agree with what everyone else said! It really works. It is hard at first, but consistency is the key. If you do it the same for every nap/bedtime he will eventually get used to it and adjust.
Good luck!
I have been napping with Dominic during the day and it has created a boy who won't take a nap by himself. I only do this because I generally work from 12am - 6am as it is my only time to do so and easier to nap with him. I started to train him on naps during the day (we sleep trained him for bedtime at 6mos) and he was quite stubborn. First two days he cried 2hrs and still did not go to sleep. I checked him and he had poo'd from all the hard work. ha. I felt bad. So when you first start maybe check him if he continues to cry so long - but only after maybe 1hr. Mind you he wasn't screaming bloody murder, he was doing the "come get me cry".
Just remember, he IS older and it might be tougher to start now. But better later than never. You will feel MUCH better when it is over with. It is tough though and you really MUST stick to your guns once you decide to do it or you will only confuse them.
We notice that if we put Dominic in bed and stick around the room at all, he will cry. As soon as we are gone, the door closed, he is asleep/done crying. So sometimes rubbing their back can actually prolong the fit as you are still in the room. Another thing, I had started using a nightlight, but took it away. Make sure the room is dark as you can have it.
Lastly, I spend about 5-10 min rocking dominic so that he is READY for sleepy time and not just throwing him directly into bed. He knows that it IS sleepy time as soon as we get into the bedroom where as otherwise he would not act tired when out in the living room. Meaning if I rocked him out in the living room he gets super distracted by everything.. in his room he immediately cuddles and lays his head on my shoulder. I would also suggest maybe using a mobile, crib toy or CD player with soothing music (don't set the CD to play for the entire nap though, maybe just one song)... it can work as a distraction to calm them down. This definitely works with Dominic. I also read not to put any toys in the crib, only provide ONE "snugly" - like a soft toy/doll. The first two days will be your worst, if you keep checking in on him and he see's you, you will probably prolong the ordeal too.
Well looks like everyone has given you good advice too. A lot of the advice givers trained their babies when they were around the 5/6month range, so keep in mind at 10mos plus they can be really needy, have separation anxiety (which will pass!), and can become MORE stubborn when it comes to being put down.
Jo Frost aka. super nanny forums are a good resource for real issues if you want more advice. www.jofrost.com
let us know how it goes!
Well, there is a technique call the Feber Technique, we tired it and well...I didn't like it at all. Lots of people swear by it, so if you don't mind listening to him scream you can try it. It broke my heart, but she is also my own child, not someone I am babysitting.
Your mom is right on, I love you and am glad that you are feeling better. Grams
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