Living Alone

Is anyone else aware of just how much noise a house just makes? Why do houses make noises? I don't understand. And they really make SO MUCH NOISE. I realize now. And now when Greg's here, I'll notice a noise and think, "That noise would have freaked me out a week ago." But it was never anything I noticed before Greg left. I've been unfortunately amazed. It would be nice if amazement was all it brought. But it causes me to check the locks on the doors 4+ times a night. Looking out the blinds to make sure no one's lurking around. And yes, reloading the gun's magazine twice a night, just to make sure it's properly loaded and ready to go should the need arise. Ah, living alone- it's changed things. The first two nights terrified me. Maybe terrified is too a strong word, but I was way more freaked out than I ever thought I would be. I have slept alone, as a single woman, many times before (granted, some of those nights I slept with a knife under my bed). So I thought I would be ready. After a week or so passed I seemed to calm down and feel more safe, but lately I'm getting creeped out again.

Could it be because I'm watching Prison Break every spare moment I have? What is this show, may you ask? It's all about a prison and the terrible prisoners in it. It's a little terrifying, but I'm hooked. Normally I would never allow myself such a show, but I just like it. But I watch it every night for a good couple hours and then I'm dreaming I'm in prison every night. Literally. Thank goodness nothing bad happens to me while I'm in my prison dreams, but I'm still there and so are the characters.

So I'm looking for a new doctor as of tomorrow. I really hope I find one I like. I feel bad, looking for someone else, but it's just not working out the way I want it to be, with the doctor I have now. Today I had a really long appointment, and it was just bam, bam bam something new going wrong. Nothing major, just irritatingly not how I want it. Not at all. Any recommendation I've had from friends is always a man doctor. Why are men gynecologists? I'm sorry, but I just want a woman down there. I'm becoming such a prude.

I officially love Bachelorette. My sisters have been watching it for years now and every time they'd blog about it I couldn't even bear to read it. The only time I've watched the show was with my sister Amy and I couldn't stop myself from laughing (because it was so stupid) so I had to leave (because she made me). I thought it was the dumbest show on earth. I'm sure it's EXACTLY the same as it was before, but now I completely love it. It's just hilarious. It's completely stupid, but once you get into it, it is GREAT entertainment! I literally laugh out loud every episode!

Hmm, what else? Work's been going good. I got called to the Relief Society Board (which used to be called the Enrichment Board/Committee) and I'm the Relief Society pianist- except Greg has to drive to Salem a 1/2 hour after church ends, so we always duck out early so he can eat and change and we can have a few minutes together, which means I never play the closing hymn. Oh well, in 4 months I can.

Lately, it seems I've been surrounded by people's complete lack of organization. It's driving me crazy. I just don't have that problem and it's hard for me to understand how some people can let their lives and activities become so out of control.

So I realized in just over 3 months we're having a baby. I started to FREAK OUT. Of course, I want one and have wanted one for the longest time, but 3 months is really short and suddenly I realized how close it is and I'll never be alone with Greg again and I was just sort of panicking in my head a little bit. But then I just looked at someone's blog, all about their baby and it made me feel all good again. It's just about midnight and I am really tired, but I'm going to watch a Prison Break.