In Love

I'm absolutely inlove with my little girl. She just gets better everyday! She completely sleeps through the night, in her crib, basically puts herself to sleep and just wakes up around 5am to eat and then goes right back down. I LOVE IT!!! I'll love it even more when she wakes up at 8am, but I'll count my blessings now. I just thought it would be harder, not that waking up to feed her isn't hard- it's the hardest part of my day- but she's just so much easier than I ever imagined. At my nanny job, I couldn't get a one year old to put himself to bed or sleep longer than a half hour. So I was expecting a lot more trouble than this. We've just started putting her to bed the last few days and she'll cry 3 times and we run in and stick the pacifier in, but after that 3rd time she usually stays asleep! I love it! I don't know why we didn't do this earlier. I usually waited for her to fall asleep before putting her down, and then we'd have to tip toe around the room and hope we didn't wake her. This is so much better. We're starting to get into a routine. Not so much in the day time, but the night time is really getting regular and I'm seeing a promising future!!! Now if I can just get my buns out of bed I will really be loving my life!

Speaking of . . . went shopping yesterday to find I can't fit into certain stores anymore without squeezing into a shirt and seeing ROLLS. When did I get rolls? I've never had rolls! Anyway. Pretty depressing and embarrassing. Wanted to cry and then DID when I called Greg feeling really depressed. Anyway! My point is . . . I joined Weight Watchers and I'm so happy I did. And I COMPLETELY was within my points today and worked out for an HOUR, which I'm not sure has EVER happened in my life. But, I want my body to look better. Anyway, I'm feeling better about things. And I'm happy to know if I follow the program, I will lose weight. Anyway, today was a great day.

Life has been so hard with getting a grip on things. Like I feel like I have a hold on the day around 3 pm. That's just too late to be getting started. By then, people are heading home and thinking about dinner and their husbands coming home. But I get up and feed Scarlet, and I'm always afraid she'll cry when I pump or shower so I really have to juggle that with when she HAPPENS to go to sleep. And lately her naps have been WAY shorter in the day- but I'm ok with that if she keeps sleeping so LONG in the night. I just need to get my buns up while she's still sleeping in the morning. Anyway, I've realized, I just need to do things while she's awake. If I wait 'till she's asleep, I won't be showered and fed until 2pm at the soonest and then I have no life. I'm sick of having no life and never leaving the house. Anyway, I'm feeling a lot of light, right now, realizing I can do things differently and I'm sure it's gonna work out. And worse case scenario, I can rip the pump off and run over to her, or hop out the of the shower or whatever. We're not gonna die, and most likely, I won't have to and she'll be fine when I have to be occupied for 20 minutes. Through this whole process, though I've loved it all and don't have regrets (except for some feeding things) I keep thinking, "I'll do it this way with the next one." But I suppose everyone does that. You just figure it out along the way.

I'm flying to California in a few days with Scarlet and I can totally picture her pooping out her pants mid-flight or worse, right when we load the plane so I can't get up and run to the bathroom. But is there a mini changing station in there or what? Do you just have to change diapers right there in your lap? How does it work out a plane? 'Cause if she poops it is going to be MESSY. She builds up for a few days and then it's like 2 bowls of soup were dumped in her outfit and it does NOT stay in her diaper. I don't wanna deal with that while two strangers on each side of me, not only SEEING this ugly mess, but SMELLING it. Well, let's just hope it doesn't come to that.