So Let it Be Written, So Let it Be Done

I AM NEVER GOING CAMPING AGAIN. Atleast not at the South Umpqua Falls. It's officially over. I hate camping. I hate being dirty- CONSTANTLY DIRTY. I hate outhouses. I hate being afraid a fly is going to fly up my bum everytime I have to go to the bathroom. I hate that every spot is uncomfortable. That the MOST comfortable spot is a camping chair. And that's not what I think of, when I think of relaxation. I hate not being able to sleep 'cause it's so freaking cold. I hate that I have to walk 5 minutes to the only running water in the camp and it's ICE COLD. The RIVER that we drive to is ICE COLD, until it's 5pm and it's all shaded over. I don't like rivers and currants. They make me uncomfortable. I don't like hiking up and down to get anywhere. Climbing over fallen trees, hopping from big rock to big rock. I hate that not only am I constantly uncomfortable and insecure in this setting, but I'm feeling that way in public. I hate that when people ask, "Why don't you like to camp?" and I list the reasons, they just sort of look at me and don't say anything and I feel like the WHINIEST, got a major stick up my bum kind of person. But I shouldn't have to feel that way!!!! Not everyone likes to dance. And I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't like it because it makes them uncomfortable. I LOVE to dance. THAT I could do for 3 days straight. I'd be on a constant high. But I can think of many people that would be so constantly stressed and uncomfortable and just hate it. That's how it is for me. I cried everyday and literally bawled the last day. And when I wasn't crying, a good percentage of the time I was trying not too. I know that sounds dramatic, but that's just how it was. And so I realized- "It's not worth it!!!!!" At the most I will drive up for the day. I'm just done. The thing that is the WORST is the only reason I have ever gone is because 1/2 of Greg's cousins live far away and we only get to see them at this big event. And this is the only way they ever see me- Miss Grumpy Pants. Oh yes, I also got stung by a bee within a few hours of arriving. There were cougars around the camps that were the size of deer, I'm not exaggerating- Jeff thought it was a deer until he saw it move (that made me want to walk to the outhouse in the middle of the night) and camping with a baby- I'm not even going to go there.

Grandma and Grandpa stopped by!!!

It was fun to see them.

Drumroll . . . I gave Scarlet some bangs.

I've been resisting forever, not wanting something I'd have to keep up and I like her cute face without bangs. But here's the thing, she won't wear the clips anymore and I have to redo her ponytail multiple times a day, because she pulls he hair out of it and it gets annoying. And if I don't put her hair up in SOME way it lays straight down in her face. Like to her nose, or longer possibly. It refuses to stay to one side. It likes to come down. So I couldn't take seeing that hair in her face, anymore!

The moment I cut it (we were on the bathroom floor) I just looked at her and started freaking out, inside. She looked nothing like herself! I was really freaking out! And I also used a different soap when I bathed her so she looked and smelled so different and I was just like, "Who is this baby in my house? Where's my Scarlet? She's gone!" I'll say it again, I was really freaking out. Well, eventually it sort of passed. I knew Greg would hate it. The thing is . . . all her hair still falls forward. So her bangs look REALLY thick and even though I didn't cut them from the back of her head, they LOOK like they're coming from the back of her head. And it looks all 80's mullety. The pic above was after some serious effort on my part. Hairspray and possibly blowdrying and that's the best I got it to look. So the ONLY way to get it to work is to pull her hair back somehow, so her bangs look a normal thickness. Is this way too much detail? It's just the way my mind works with hair. I notice way too much.

See, THIS I like!

Oh I miss this sweet face! This is my baby! No bangs. I miss it so much. Oh yeah, this was the other reason I cut her bangs. Notice her little wispy's in the front? It's new hair growing in and it keeps getting longer and looking wierder, so I thought I should just cut her bangs and go from there.

Scarlet LOOOOOOOOVES books.

We not only read them everyday, but she will just look at them by herself everyday. She'll make her way into her bedroom and just pick them up and open the pages for a good 15 minutes. Who knows, maybe more. She loves to turn the pages.

We also have a good sit down atleast once a day and end up reading all the books. Or atleast a LOT of them. She never gets sick of it. In FACT, I can NEVER rock her in the chair because she'll instantly go for the books. So unless it's 3am, I can't use it. It's the worst.

It has been HOT!!!! I am sick of being hot. Since Greg works at night, I don't like to leave more than 2 very specific windows open at night. That doesn't really cool down the house these days. But I don't wanna blast the AC all night, so it makes for some hot days and nights. Scarlet and I have hardly been out walking 'cause by the time it cools down, the sun is starting to set and is in her eyes. It's the worst. We get restless in the house. But it's just so hot! I finally took us out and look what happened!

I'm glad she didn't die of heat stroke. I felt really bad. This is just from sitting in the stroller.

As for me, I'm feeling crummy. The last month, Andrew and Alexis came over, then the Muellers came over, then we went camping, now Greg is out of town. I literally have not had a day with my husband for atleast 3 weeks, if not a month. I've been doing really well . . . until today. Today, I've hit my limit and I slammed a few things in the bathroom and I think I even let out a little yell/scream of frustration in there. I just need a break. But I'm not getting one. Greg is getting in at MIDNIGHT tonight and then he goes to work tomorrow. So I get to see him on Monday, basically. Atleast I know we don't have any plans here on out so life should be back to normal. 3 more days of horribleness, and then some peace, hopefully. It's so bad that I even hung up on Greg, and he really didn't do anything. I'm just so mad because the way it's all turning out, I'll have to grocery shop on SATURDAY. I loathe shopping on saturdays. It makes everything 3 times as long as it needs to be. It may be a silly thing to complain about, but I really despise it. Well, I'm just Miss Negativity tonight, but oh well. It's how it is.

Oh yeah, the ONE positive thing. As of August 15, 2011, Greg and I have stopped eating sweets. I can't believe it hasn't even been 2 weeks. It seems so much longer. Saying that, it hasn't been that bad. There have been moments that I've been wanting something sweet- that's for sure. But I've never almost caved or been obsessive about it. Freaking out, wondering how I will survive. It's been fine. And I've also been working out! Now that we don't have company and aren't gone somewhere. So the combination of the two is causing me to lose some pounds! Hoorah! I can already tell. My tummy is already a little flatter- YES! It's good and yet bad. Because I only seem to need to lose a few pounds and then I feel good enough to stop. But I don't want to stop. I ZUMBA 45 minutes a day with our XBOX 360. It's the best. I love it. Tomorrow I'll start the advanced level, we'll see how I do.

So the no sweets thing. It's arrived for multiple reasons. I've had a sugar addiction basically my entire life. Here are a few examples- when I started weight watchers a few years ago, the first time I saw everyone eating icecream and I couldn't join in, because I was out of points, I went upstairs and cried. It was seriously emotional. When I was 19 I made my cousin cupcakes for her birthday and then ate them all before she came home. ALL OF THEM. That same cousin had Cadburry Mini Eggs sitting on her bed open and while she was away I ate them, little by little, until they were gone. I have this problem. Eating things that aren't mine. Because the addiction is so strong I simply can't help myself. Well, anyways. It has improved since THEN, but it's a constant problem. So there's THAT. Then my sister Amy got gestational diabetes, which I guess is FINE, but it freaked me out! I don't want diabetes, ever in anyway. Amy isn't overweight. She's pregnant, but she's skinny everywhere else! I don't know, the whole thing freaked me out and made me not want to eat sugar. Then we watched this documentary called FOOD MATTERS that pretty much sealed the deal. It made me feel like I was destroying my body when I eat stuff like that. And this is a MUCH easier way to lose weight. I've been eating whatever I want. I don't have to worry about butter or bread or counting points/calories because it's not going to add up to all the brownies/cookies I was eating everyday. So the combination of it all has brought me and Greg to stop eating sweets. Greg's really just doing it to support me.

Scarlet's been sleeping 12 HOURS A NIGHT!!!! She goes down at 8:30pm on the dot, which I LOVE. She used to go to bed at 10pm, which was always fine with me, because she always slept 'till 8:30 or even 9:30. But little by little she started going down earlier and now she's pretty consistent with this new routine. She's also taking longer naps! 10am for 1 1/2 - 2 hours and then again at 3:30 for the same amount of time. I love it! And she NEVER wakes at night. She has a couple times briefly because she's been teething, just the last couple days, but other than that I can't remember the last time I had to get up in the night. She's eating more and more food everyday. She can basically eat anything that we can, except nuts and hard carrots. It drives me crazy, even if she JUST ATE, once I sit down for lunch she crawls on over and whines, grabbing at my lap, until I give her something. I don't want to compare her to a dog, but the whole begging for food thing, just reminds me of one. But she's nothing like a dog. I hate dogs. That's something I've wanted to post about forever but have resisted, because then everyone will hate me.

When Scarlet cries her eyebrows get BRIGHT RED. It's crazy. And she'll get these bright red spots. Like little pricks here and there on her forehead, on her nose and just below her eyes. It took me a few times to realize it was just because she was crying. At first I thought she was having some kind of allergic reaction. And it happens INSTANTLY! Like crying for 30 seconds and her eyebrows look like they're on fire. She's been so emotional, lately. Those darn teeth, I know they're the culprit. Before last week, I couldn't remember the last time I saw a tear in her eye, literally and now they just pour at the sight of me making a bottle.

When Scarlet sleeps, she's like a wild animal. She rolls all over in her crib. Quickly too. It's like she's flinging her body here, then there, then up to the top of the crib, then the bottom. She likes to shove herself into one side. I always want to take a picture of her, but I don't want to wake her up. But she's so sweet when she's asleep.

We got a juicer. It came today. Greg's been wanting one FOREVER, but I kept saying it was too expensive and I didn't want one more big thing to put on the counter. I swear, we get more and more gadgets, every month. TOO MANY!!!! But I want them all. I USE them all! With how much work life is, right now- I just can't imagine how people churned their own butter and kneaded their own bread and everything else! Man, I wanna go to bed. But I have to get Greg in 1 1/2 hours. Atleast the house is clean. I love when the house is clean. I'm lonely. Can you tell? I'm rambling 'cause it's almost like I'm talking to somebody. It is hard to get together with friends. Everyone has kids and gymnastics practice and school and places to go and things to get done. It makes it hard to schedule things in. Especially when I have to be home at specific times and stay home for Scarlet's naps. Bleh. I'm going to go. BYE!